Peg Dawson

'Divide up the job tasks based on each of your executive skill strengths.'

'This solution—changing what you say to yourself about the situation—may not be completely satisfying...but it may be the only tool you have available.'

"People tend to have their own unique patterns of strengths and weaknesses, and it’s rare that two people in a relationship have identical profiles."

"Being weak in time management explains why you’re usually late—it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to get better at it."

"Working memory involves acting on or manipulating the information in some way... It’s seen as short-term storage plus the processes required to use that information."

"People fret about their inability to remember everything... Writing something down is a way of off-loading so the brain doesn’t have to work as hard."

"To engage in goal-directed behavior, we have to be able to sustain that focused attention over time."

"Mind wandering may take up as much as 50% of our waking hours... but it supports imagination, curiosity, creativity... even problem-solving."

"If we are paying attention to technology, what are we not paying attention to? And is it something important?"

'Many people who are weak in this skill fail to connect the dots and see the role they play in their own misfortunes.'

'If you have this skill [goal-directed persistence], you can use it to compensate for your other executive skill weaknesses.'

{'quote': "'Accomplishing small subgoals on the way toward a larger goal acts as a motivator to help you persist.'"}

{'quote': "'If situation Y occurs, then I will do Z.'"}

{'quote': "'Going public with your goals may uncover some underlying ambivalence about your efforts.'"}

{'quote': "'An effective strategy for helping you get control over your emotions is self-talk... Research shows that self-talk results in decreased activity in the amygdala and increased activity in the frontal lobes.'"}

{'quote': "'Modify the physical or social environment... If commotion makes you anxious, avoid it when you can; if too much quiet makes you edgy, find ways to get out of the house.'"}

{'quote': "'Learning to turn self-talk around takes practice... Whenever you find yourself making a negative comment about yourself, immediately replace it with something positive.'"}

{'quote': "'Is there some way I can off-load aspects of the task that make it effortful and therefore likely to be avoided?'"}

{'quote': "'When you’re able to push through the earlier, more difficult part of the practice...the use of the skill will also be easier as it becomes more automatic.'"}

{'quote': "'The adult brain has plasticity...when we acquire a new skill or strengthen a previously weak skill, the underlying brain structures undergo change.'"}

{'quote': "'Once being neat becomes the standard, it’s really hard to go back to being messy again.'"}

{'quote': "'Fear distorts time and leads people to perceive fearful events as lasting longer than they really do.'"}

{'quote': "'Dopamine is the main neurotransmitter involved in time processing... low dopamine levels lead to time perception distortions.'"}

Understanding executive skills is key not just to surviving life today—but thriving in it.

What the 21st century has done is to place demands on our executive functions like never before—the complexity we’re asked to process exceeds what our frontal lobes can comfortably manage.

Recent brain research assures us that neuroplasticity continues throughout our lives... if you want to tackle executive skill improvement, psychologists have developed proven strategies to do this.

Throughout adulthood we have the ability to continue learning and changing... In the world of executive skills, an old dog can learn new tricks.

We view each skill as consisting along a continuum from strong to weak... but we need to distinguish between weaknesses and impairments.

People who are naturally good at any particular executive skill find it really hard to understand people who are naturally bad at the same skill.

Divide up the job tasks based on each of your executive skill strengths.

If I change some aspect of these physical spaces, would my executive skill weakness be less of an impediment?

Is there some way I can off-load aspects of the task that make it effortful and therefore likely to be avoided?

When you’re able to push through the earlier, more difficult part of the practice...the use of the skill will also be easier as it becomes more automatic.

The adult brain has plasticity...when we acquire a new skill or strengthen a previously weak skill, the underlying brain structures undergo change.

Positive reinforcement is defined as any event, activity, or object that follows the behavior that makes it more likely that the behavior will occur again in the future.

Acknowledging the weakness has two immediate effects...it reinforces the person [pointing it out] and creates understanding or empathy for you.

Working memory involves acting on or manipulating the information in some way... It’s seen as short-term storage plus the processes required to use that information.

No surgeon graduates from med school without knowing safety procedures—but even experienced surgeons forget steps without checklists.

An effective strategy for helping you get control over your emotions is self-talk... Research shows that self-talk results in decreased activity in the amygdala and increased activity in the frontal lobes.

Learning to turn self-talk around takes practice... Whenever you find yourself making a negative comment about yourself, immediately replace it with something positive.

Flexibility exists along a continuum and many people who fall well within the range of normal nonetheless struggle with flexibility.

Many people who are weak in this skill fail to connect the dots and see the role they play in their own misfortunes.

Accomplishing small subgoals on the way toward a larger goal acts as a motivator to help you persist.

'My strength in metacognition is what drives me to ask for feedback from others so I can evaluate my own performance and figure out how to do things differently the next time.'

'If I change some aspect of these physical spaces, would my executive skill weakness be less of an impediment?'

'We suspect that people who are high in goal-directed persistence are able to take advantage of that particular strength to help them combat or avoid pitfalls associated with whatever their executive skill weaknesses are.'

"What the 21st century has done is to place demands on our executive functions like never before—the complexity we’re asked to process exceeds what our frontal lobes can comfortably manage."

"Recent brain research assures us that neuroplasticity continues throughout our lives... if you want to tackle executive skill improvement, psychologists have developed proven strategies to do this."

"Understanding executive skills is key not just to surviving life today—but thriving in it."

"Throughout adulthood we have the ability to continue learning and changing... In the world of executive skills, an old dog can learn new tricks."

"We view each skill as consisting along a continuum from strong to weak... but we need to distinguish between weaknesses and impairments."

"People who are naturally good at any particular executive skill find it really hard to understand people who are naturally bad at the same skill."

'Positive reinforcement is defined as any event, activity, or object that follows the behavior that makes it more likely that the behavior will occur again in the future.'

'Acknowledging the weakness has two immediate effects...it reinforces the person [pointing it out] and creates understanding or empathy for you.'

{'quote': "'By the time you finish reading them [the chapters], who knows—you may have internalized our thought process...thinking methodically about environmental supports and ways to gradually improve your executive skills through targeted practice.'"}

{'quote': "'The best way to do this is to remove as many temptations as you can from your physical or social environment.'"}

{'quote': "'Simply having these children set a goal of “earning more money” did not produce better results...but when children were asked to repeat aloud three times an if–then plan...they were much more likely to wait for the blue pictures.'"}

"Done is better than perfect."

"Reappraisal moved them from a threat mind-set to an opportunity mind-set."

"The fun you have in the Dark Playground isn’t actually fun because it’s completely unearned...the air is filled with guilt, anxiety, self-hatred, and dread."

'How do you develop a plan to improve your planning skills if the very act of planning is what you’re missing?'

'It is such a relief to people to be able to acknowledge that they’re not good at everything.'

'When I’m working on a plan... I stick [steps] on a blank board... I use Post-its because I can move them around.'

"Flexibility exists along a continuum and many people who fall well within the range of normal nonetheless struggle with flexibility."

"Poor flexibility has been implicated in a number of psychological disorders... but as with all other executive skills, flexibility exists along a continuum."

"When I feel inflexibility coming on... I know I need to pause before responding—take five deep breaths or walk away and come back."

{'quote': '"The most straightforward way to minimize the impact of low stress tolerance is to avoid stressful environments whenever you can."'}

{'quote': '"Sharing responsibility is not ‘dumping’—it’s both a family member’s role and a stress-management strategy."'}

"Evidence is accumulating that engaging in these activities as young or middle-age adults may increase the likelihood that the brain will continue to function well into old age."

"Although we can achieve 'near transfer' (improvement on similar lab tasks), we’ve yet to reliably demonstrate 'far transfer' (improvement on skills in the real world)."

Executive Skills as the Foundation of Success

The book emphasizes that executive skills, such as planning, emotional regulation, and time management, are the brain's management system. These skills are essential for navigating the complexities of modern life. The authors argue that understanding and improving these skills can lead to significant personal and professional growth. For example, Ginger's chaotic day illustrates how weak executive skills can spiral into stress and inefficiency.

Neuroplasticity Enables Lifelong Growth

Contrasting outdated beliefs about fixed brain capacity, the book highlights neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to adapt and grow throughout life. This insight reframes personal growth as an ongoing process rather than a fixed trait determined by genetics or early experiences. For instance, targeted practice can strengthen weak areas like time management or emotional control.

Environmental Design for Skill Enhancement

The authors propose modifying one's environment to support weaker executive skills instead of solely relying on internal effort. For example, using visual reminders or designated spots for items can compensate for poor working memory. This approach shifts self-improvement from internal struggle to external problem-solving.

The Role of Emotional Regulation in Decision-Making

The book explores how emotional regulation is crucial for effective decision-making. By managing emotions through techniques like self-talk or mindfulness, individuals can reduce impulsivity and make more rational choices. This skill is particularly important in high-stress situations where emotions might otherwise cloud judgment.

Planning as a Learn-able Skill

Planning is presented not as an innate talent but as a skill that can be developed through structured approaches. Breaking down tasks into smaller steps and using tools like whiteboards or apps can make planning more accessible and less overwhelming.

Flexibility Enhances Adaptability

Flexibility, or cognitive set-shifting, allows individuals to adapt their strategies when circumstances change unexpectedly. This skill bridges past experiences with present decision-making, enabling effective responses to unforeseen challenges.

Stress Tolerance Can Be Cultivated

Stress tolerance is framed as a skill rather than an innate trait. Techniques such as stress inoculation therapy—educating oneself about stressors, rehearsing coping strategies, and practicing them—can help individuals manage stress more effectively.

Audit Your Executive Skills

Use tools like questionnaires to identify your strengths and weaknesses in executive skills. Focus on improving one area at a time for targeted growth.

Leverage Environmental Cues

Set up external systems like alarms or visual reminders to support weaker executive functions such as memory or organization.

Practice Emotional Regulation Daily

Incorporate techniques like deep breathing or positive self-talk into your routine to improve emotional control over time.

Break Goals into Manage-able Steps

Divide large tasks into smaller milestones with clear deadlines to make them more achievable and less daunting.

Use Social Accountability for Motivation

Share your goals with friends or family who can provide encouragement and hold you accountable for progress.

"When you’re naturally good at something, it’s very hard to understand people who are naturally bad at it."

"No surgeon graduates from med school without knowing safety procedures—but even experienced surgeons forget steps without checklists."

'Divide up the job tasks based on each of your executive skill strengths.'

'This solution—changing what you say to yourself about the situation—may not be completely satisfying...but it may be the only tool you have available.'

"People tend to have their own unique patterns of strengths and weaknesses, and it’s rare that two people in a relationship have identical profiles."

"Being weak in time management explains why you’re usually late—it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to get better at it."

"Working memory involves acting on or manipulating the information in some way... It’s seen as short-term storage plus the processes required to use that information."

"People fret about their inability to remember everything... Writing something down is a way of off-loading so the brain doesn’t have to work as hard."

"To engage in goal-directed behavior, we have to be able to sustain that focused attention over time."

"Mind wandering may take up as much as 50% of our waking hours... but it supports imagination, curiosity, creativity... even problem-solving."

"If we are paying attention to technology, what are we not paying attention to? And is it something important?"

'Many people who are weak in this skill fail to connect the dots and see the role they play in their own misfortunes.'

'If you have this skill [goal-directed persistence], you can use it to compensate for your other executive skill weaknesses.'

{'quote': "'Accomplishing small subgoals on the way toward a larger goal acts as a motivator to help you persist.'"}

{'quote': "'If situation Y occurs, then I will do Z.'"}

{'quote': "'Going public with your goals may uncover some underlying ambivalence about your efforts.'"}

{'quote': "'An effective strategy for helping you get control over your emotions is self-talk... Research shows that self-talk results in decreased activity in the amygdala and increased activity in the frontal lobes.'"}

{'quote': "'Modify the physical or social environment... If commotion makes you anxious, avoid it when you can; if too much quiet makes you edgy, find ways to get out of the house.'"}

{'quote': "'Learning to turn self-talk around takes practice... Whenever you find yourself making a negative comment about yourself, immediately replace it with something positive.'"}

{'quote': "'Is there some way I can off-load aspects of the task that make it effortful and therefore likely to be avoided?'"}

{'quote': "'When you’re able to push through the earlier, more difficult part of the practice...the use of the skill will also be easier as it becomes more automatic.'"}

{'quote': "'The adult brain has plasticity...when we acquire a new skill or strengthen a previously weak skill, the underlying brain structures undergo change.'"}

{'quote': "'Once being neat becomes the standard, it’s really hard to go back to being messy again.'"}

{'quote': "'Fear distorts time and leads people to perceive fearful events as lasting longer than they really do.'"}

{'quote': "'Dopamine is the main neurotransmitter involved in time processing... low dopamine levels lead to time perception distortions.'"}

Understanding executive skills is key not just to surviving life today—but thriving in it.

What the 21st century has done is to place demands on our executive functions like never before—the complexity we’re asked to process exceeds what our frontal lobes can comfortably manage.

Recent brain research assures us that neuroplasticity continues throughout our lives... if you want to tackle executive skill improvement, psychologists have developed proven strategies to do this.

Throughout adulthood we have the ability to continue learning and changing... In the world of executive skills, an old dog can learn new tricks.

We view each skill as consisting along a continuum from strong to weak... but we need to distinguish between weaknesses and impairments.

People who are naturally good at any particular executive skill find it really hard to understand people who are naturally bad at the same skill.

Divide up the job tasks based on each of your executive skill strengths.

If I change some aspect of these physical spaces, would my executive skill weakness be less of an impediment?

Is there some way I can off-load aspects of the task that make it effortful and therefore likely to be avoided?

When you’re able to push through the earlier, more difficult part of the practice...the use of the skill will also be easier as it becomes more automatic.

The adult brain has plasticity...when we acquire a new skill or strengthen a previously weak skill, the underlying brain structures undergo change.

Positive reinforcement is defined as any event, activity, or object that follows the behavior that makes it more likely that the behavior will occur again in the future.

Acknowledging the weakness has two immediate effects...it reinforces the person [pointing it out] and creates understanding or empathy for you.

Working memory involves acting on or manipulating the information in some way... It’s seen as short-term storage plus the processes required to use that information.

No surgeon graduates from med school without knowing safety procedures—but even experienced surgeons forget steps without checklists.

An effective strategy for helping you get control over your emotions is self-talk... Research shows that self-talk results in decreased activity in the amygdala and increased activity in the frontal lobes.

Learning to turn self-talk around takes practice... Whenever you find yourself making a negative comment about yourself, immediately replace it with something positive.

Flexibility exists along a continuum and many people who fall well within the range of normal nonetheless struggle with flexibility.

Many people who are weak in this skill fail to connect the dots and see the role they play in their own misfortunes.

Accomplishing small subgoals on the way toward a larger goal acts as a motivator to help you persist.

'My strength in metacognition is what drives me to ask for feedback from others so I can evaluate my own performance and figure out how to do things differently the next time.'

'If I change some aspect of these physical spaces, would my executive skill weakness be less of an impediment?'

'We suspect that people who are high in goal-directed persistence are able to take advantage of that particular strength to help them combat or avoid pitfalls associated with whatever their executive skill weaknesses are.'

"What the 21st century has done is to place demands on our executive functions like never before—the complexity we’re asked to process exceeds what our frontal lobes can comfortably manage."

"Recent brain research assures us that neuroplasticity continues throughout our lives... if you want to tackle executive skill improvement, psychologists have developed proven strategies to do this."

"Understanding executive skills is key not just to surviving life today—but thriving in it."

"Throughout adulthood we have the ability to continue learning and changing... In the world of executive skills, an old dog can learn new tricks."

"We view each skill as consisting along a continuum from strong to weak... but we need to distinguish between weaknesses and impairments."

"People who are naturally good at any particular executive skill find it really hard to understand people who are naturally bad at the same skill."

'Positive reinforcement is defined as any event, activity, or object that follows the behavior that makes it more likely that the behavior will occur again in the future.'

'Acknowledging the weakness has two immediate effects...it reinforces the person [pointing it out] and creates understanding or empathy for you.'

{'quote': "'By the time you finish reading them [the chapters], who knows—you may have internalized our thought process...thinking methodically about environmental supports and ways to gradually improve your executive skills through targeted practice.'"}

{'quote': "'The best way to do this is to remove as many temptations as you can from your physical or social environment.'"}

{'quote': "'Simply having these children set a goal of “earning more money” did not produce better results...but when children were asked to repeat aloud three times an if–then plan...they were much more likely to wait for the blue pictures.'"}

"Done is better than perfect."

"Reappraisal moved them from a threat mind-set to an opportunity mind-set."

"The fun you have in the Dark Playground isn’t actually fun because it’s completely unearned...the air is filled with guilt, anxiety, self-hatred, and dread."

'How do you develop a plan to improve your planning skills if the very act of planning is what you’re missing?'

'It is such a relief to people to be able to acknowledge that they’re not good at everything.'

'When I’m working on a plan... I stick [steps] on a blank board... I use Post-its because I can move them around.'

"Flexibility exists along a continuum and many people who fall well within the range of normal nonetheless struggle with flexibility."

"Poor flexibility has been implicated in a number of psychological disorders... but as with all other executive skills, flexibility exists along a continuum."

"When I feel inflexibility coming on... I know I need to pause before responding—take five deep breaths or walk away and come back."

{'quote': '"The most straightforward way to minimize the impact of low stress tolerance is to avoid stressful environments whenever you can."'}

{'quote': '"Sharing responsibility is not ‘dumping’—it’s both a family member’s role and a stress-management strategy."'}

"Evidence is accumulating that engaging in these activities as young or middle-age adults may increase the likelihood that the brain will continue to function well into old age."

"Although we can achieve 'near transfer' (improvement on similar lab tasks), we’ve yet to reliably demonstrate 'far transfer' (improvement on skills in the real world)."

"When you’re naturally good at something, it’s very hard to understand people who are naturally bad at it."

"No surgeon graduates from med school without knowing safety procedures—but even experienced surgeons forget steps without checklists."