It is not enough to simply say , 'I love you.' Nor is it enough to give love to your spouse in the way to which you feel most accustomed. If you want to give a person $100, there are many ways to do so. Y ou can give it in cash or by check or in gold or in kind. Y ou can give it in dif ferent currencies. So you ask, 'In which form do you want the hundred dollars?' In the same way you learn to give your spouse love in the way he or she finds most emotionally valuable and powerful.