Atlas of the Heart

We can not possibly recognize what other people are feeling. Too many emotions and experiences are expressed the same way - like crying. We need to talk to each other, drop the assumptions!

The theory of near and far enemies. Far enemies are real opposites so it's easy to spot. But near enemies are really tricky and can seriously damage relationships and leave us in pain.

When you have access to the right words they can open up entire universes. Through language we make connections, we learn and improve our self-awareness.

Humility is a good emotion, as it allows you to self-assess your strengths, contributions, and imperfections, while also leaving room for learning new things.

Knowing our emotions makes it easier to turn them into strengths and do away with our weaknesses.

To let go of negative emotions, you have to become vulnerable and allow meaningful connections to form.

Some of the most common toxic traits of all humans are comparison, internalizing anger and disappointment.

Self-sufficiency’s near enemy is hyper-independence. It’s good to be able to look after yourself, but when independence turns into the fear of getting close to others, or fear of accepting help, you could find yourself isolated and overwhelmed.

Kindness’s near enemy is selflessness. Many of us were taught that selflessness is a good thing, but failing to set boundaries and take care of your own needs will quickly burn you out. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup—you can’t help anyone if you’ve used up all of your strength.

Hope’s near enemy is blind optimism. While hope is the belief that things can get better, blind optimism causes you to think that everything will be okay without any effort on your part. Thus, you trap yourself into repeating the same mistakes over and over.

Brown’s hope is that, with a deeper understanding of emotions, you’ll be able to talk about them more openly and accurately, and thus form deeper connections with the people around you.

For children, it’s easy for everything to become a source of shame when nothing is normalized. You assume that if no one is talking about it, it must be just you.

Disappointment is an unmet expectation. The more significant the expectation, the more significant the disappointment.

Empathy is a tool of compassion. We can respond empathically only if we are willing to be present to someone's pain. If we're not willing to do that, it's not real empathy.

When we stop numbing and start feeling and learning again, we have to reevaluate everything, especially how to choose loving ourselves over making other people comfortable. It was the hardest work I’ve ever done and continue to do.

Language shows us that naming an experience doesn’t give the experience more power, it gives us the power of understanding and meaning.