Miller delves into the cyclical nature of humiliation and power dynamics between parents and children. She explains that parents often unconsciously project their unresolved childhood suffering onto their children. This projection manifests as contempt and the exercise of power, which perpetuates a cycle of humiliation. For instance, a parent might deny a child's simple wish, not out of necessity, but to assert their 'grown-upness' and avenge their own past humiliations. Miller states, 'We become free of them only when we can fully feel and acknowledge the suffering they inflicted on us.' This cycle continues until individuals become aware of their own childhood suffering and consciously work to break the pattern. | Alice Miller | The Drama of the Gifted Child

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Family

Psychology

The Cycle of Humiliation and Power

Miller delves into the cyclical nature of humiliation and power dynamics between parents and children. She explains that parents often unconsciously project their unresolved childhood suffering onto their children. This projection manifests as contempt and the exercise of power, which perpetuates a cycle of humiliation. For instance, a parent might deny a child's simple wish, not out of necessity, but to assert their 'grown-upness' and avenge their own past humiliations. Miller states, 'We become free of them only when we can fully feel and acknowledge the suffering they inflicted on us.' This cycle continues until individuals become aware of their own childhood suffering and consciously work to break the pattern.

-- Alice Miller