Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

Thoughts Are Not Facts

Julie Smith emphasizes that our thoughts are not inherently true but are interpretations influenced by our emotions and experiences. By recognizing this, we can detach from negative thought patterns and view them objectively, reducing their emotional impact.

Small Steps Lead to Big Changes

The book highlights the power of small, consistent actions in creating lasting change. Instead of overwhelming oneself with drastic goals, focusing on manageable steps builds momentum and fosters sustainable habits.

Self-Compassion as a Tool for Growth

Smith advocates for treating oneself with kindness during setbacks. This approach not only reduces self-criticism but also encourages resilience and motivation to overcome challenges.

Grief as a Process, Not a Problem

The author reframes grief as a natural process rather than something to 'fix.' By allowing oneself to experience grief in manageable doses, individuals can navigate it healthily and integrate it into their lives.

Harnessing Stress Positively

Stress is presented not as an enemy but as a tool that can be harnessed for focus and energy when managed properly. Viewing stress constructively helps in achieving goals without burnout.

Values Over Goals

Smith emphasizes living according to one's values rather than solely chasing goals. Values provide direction and meaning, making life purposeful even amidst challenges.

The Role of Friendship in Relationships

The quality of friendship within relationships is highlighted as a key factor for satisfaction. Building mutual respect and understanding strengthens bonds and provides resilience against conflicts.

Lots of self-help books tell us to get our mindset right. They tell us, ‘What you think will change how you feel.’ But they often miss something crucial. It doesn’t end there. The relationship works both ways. The way you feel also influences the types of thoughts that can pop into your head, making you more vulnerable to experiencing thoughts that are negative and self-critical.

To me, working on maximizing our mental health is no different to working on our physical health.

When you are low on energy, the chance of exercising goes down, along with your mood. Low mood gives you the urge to do the things that make mood worse.

'There is such power in understanding the many ways you can influence how you feel and nurture good mental health.'

'Feeling down is more likely to reflect unmet needs than a brain malfunction.'

'Low mood gives you the urge to do the things that make mood worse.'

"Thoughts are not facts. They are ideas offered up by your brain about ways we could make sense of the world."

"The power of any thought is in how much we believe it to be true and meaningful."

"When we feel low in mood, thoughts can become all-consuming... If we fuse with those thoughts and allow them to consume us, they can send the already low mood spiraling down further."

"Slow change is sustainable change."

"Self-compassion...is being the voice that you most need to hear."

"Motivation is a wonderful by-product of action."

'Motivation does not come from a specific location in your brain... It is most often a consequence of movement.'

"Emotions are neither your enemy nor your friend... They are your brain’s attempt to explain and attach meaning to what is going on in your world."

"You are not your feelings, and your feelings are not who you are... Each emotion can offer you information but not necessarily the whole story."

'Grief is a normal part of human experience... It is not something to fix but something to navigate.'

'When we block out pain, we tend to block them all... leaving us feeling hollow and numb.'

'Feeling the grief does not make it disappear... but we build up our strength to return to life as it is today.'

'We want everyone’s approval, but if each person is unique with their own ideas and views, then we simply cannot please everyone all of the time.'

'The key to using all criticism to your advantage is having your own back…decide which voices offer you nothing but dents in your self-esteem.'

'Confidence cannot grow if we are never willing to be without it.'

'Most self-doubt is linked to the relationship we have with failure.'

'Self-compassion often involves taking the more difficult road that is in your best interests.'

'The things you do most often become your comfort zone.'

"Thoughts are not facts. They are guesses, stories, memories, ideas and theories."

"Where you direct the spotlight of your attention helps to construct your experience."

"Kindness turns the dial down on our threat response... whether that kindness comes from someone else or inside your own head."

'Acceptance of death allows us to bring meaning to life.'

'What we feel as stress is when our brain is preparing us to do something.'

'Stress is not always harmful... It can reflect a life in which we are acting on things that we care greatly about.'

{'quote': '"When you feel the signs of stress channel that energy and enhanced focus to do your best."'}

{'quote': '"Being mindful does not mean you have to surround yourself with candles and meditate all day... It means staying open and curious to experience without judgment."'}

'Rather than hoping things are better in the future, what if life could be meaningful and purposeful now by living in line with what matters most to you?'

'Simply having goals is not enough to ensure your life changes and stays changed... It’s about turning intentions into concrete, sustainable actions.'

'The overriding factor that determines how satisfied [people] feel in their relationship (by 70 per cent) is the quality of their friendship.'

'The most powerful place to start on improving your relationships is with you... Not in a self-blame crusade but with curiosity and compassion.'

'Self-criticism is more likely to lead to an increase in depression rather than motivation.'

'When we acknowledge progress and small victories along the way, we start to recognize that our efforts can influence our world.'

'Motivation is like a flame on a match—it will burn itself out.'

Chase meaning, not happiness. Meaning can give you a direction and motivation that transcends momentary feelings of pleasure.

Slow change is sustainable change.

Self-compassion...is being the voice that you most need to hear.

Motivation is a wonderful by-product of action.

Motivation does not come from a specific location in your brain... It is most often a consequence of movement.

Self-criticism is more likely to lead to an increase in depression rather than motivation.

When we acknowledge progress and small victories along the way, we start to recognize that our efforts can influence our world.

Grief is a normal part of human experience... It is not something to fix but something to navigate.

When we block out pain, we tend to block them all... leaving us feeling hollow and numb.

Feeling the grief does not make it disappear... but we build up our strength to return to life as it is today.

Thoughts are not facts. They are guesses, stories, memories, ideas and theories.

Where you direct the spotlight of your attention helps to construct your experience.

Kindness turns the dial down on our threat response... whether that kindness comes from someone else or inside your own head.

There is such power in understanding the many ways you can influence how you feel and nurture good mental health.

Feeling down is more likely to reflect unmet needs than a brain malfunction.

Low mood gives you the urge to do the things that make mood worse.

Most self-doubt is linked to the relationship we have with failure.

Self-compassion often involves taking the more difficult road that is in your best interests.

The things you do most often become your comfort zone.